


Phone Call Apologies

by Evelynn_1967



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dying Dean Winchester, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Hunt Gone Wrong, I'm sorry for this, Injured Dean Winchester, M/M, Phone Call, like endless angst, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:42:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25704559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evelynn_1967/pseuds/Evelynn_1967
Summary: A solo hunt goes horribly wrong for Dean leaving him gut shot in the middle of nowhere and the burden of unspoken words between him and Castiel lay heavy on him leading to a desperate phone call to hopefully make things right with his last breath.(I think this is likely based on a prompt I saw at some point ages ago...)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 7
Kudos: 45





	Phone Call Apologies

**Author's Note:**

> This DOES NOT have a happy ending. I was in a bad mood, needed an outlet and this was the product. I would normally say enjoy but.... Anyway. I would appreciate feedback if y'all feel like saying anything.  
> (Also this is unedited so I apologize now for any errors)

The hunt had gone so wrong so fast. Dean realized now, in retrospect, that he should have brought Sam along but he had insisted that he could handle it. It was supposed to be one vamp. An in and out thing but it wasn’t only one. It was a nest and a human. A human who protected the vampires apparently.

He had walked into a trap. A carefully laid trap but he should’ve seen it coming the guy who had given him the lead on the “one” vampire was the same one drawing other people in to feed the nest. He was the same guy who lured Dean to a cabin in the forest and gut shot him while the rest of the nest escaped.

He coughed choking on a bitter laugh that the run down shit-hole of a cabin would likely be the last place he saw. He pulled his phone from his pocket, “thank god,” he muttered when he saw it was still in one piece. With shaking hands he managed to send a message to the local cop that had been helping him out telling her where he was and that she needed to send an ambulance and to contact his brother for him, before dialling a number and hoped desperately they would picked up.

He pressed the speakerphone button, he let his hand drop to his chest, his strength draining away as fast as the pool of blood around him was growing. He listened to the phone ring and ring his hope thinning that the call would be answered but it connected.

“Dean… You said to stop contacting you so I did. I thought you would extend that same courtesy to me,” the gravelly voice said on the other end of the phone.

“I know what I said Cas.”

“Then why are you calling? I didn’t think I was of any use to you now that I'm human so I know this isn’t about a case.”

“I’m-“ Dean took a deep breath trying to keep his voice steady and clear, “I’m calling to apologize” he said, his voice trailing off a little at the end.

“You’re what?”

“I’m sorry Cas, I treated you horrible and I know I did and I’m sorry-“ he broke off coughing, some blood running out of his mouth, “I wanted you safe Cas. You never learned to fight as a human and I didn’t want anything happening to you. I- I thought the safest place for you was far, far away from me. So I sent you away,” he said then paused again trying to get enough air to continue.

“Dean… I’m rather busy at the moment. It’s great that you’re apologizing and all but you don’t have to make up excuses. I know where I stand. As a human I’m no long useful and therefore a hindrance. A lability. It’s just how you work,” Cas said sighing.

“Cas, please. Just- just let me finish. Please?” Dean asked him desperately.

Cas frowned able to hear the strain and desperation in his voice, “Dean? Are you ok?”

“M’fine Cas. I just need to get this out. I need you to know why I had to protect you. I had to… I had to because I knew that the monsters and demons and whatever else- else out there would use you to get to me. They- they would have figured out that by taking you- taking you would have gotten them anything they wanted from me. As long as it meant I got you back. Cas I-“ even now he still hesitated but forced himself to say it while he had the chance, “I love you. I am in love with you and have been for a long time,” Dean said every breath a struggle but he managed to keep it even and quiet so Cas wouldn’t hear.

“I- why are you telling me this?” Cas asked after a long silence.

“Because I had to tell you. I couldn’t keep secret any longer. You don’t- you don’t have to say anything back Cas. I know its so unlikely that you would feel the same, especially after all the crap I’ve put you through. But I had to tell you. I’m sorry it was over the phone but it had to be.” Dean said voice too calm but it was all he could manage and kept the pain from his voice. 

“Dean… I’m going to come by the bunker tomorrow. This isn’t something to talk about over the phone. Goodnight Dean,” Cas said preparing to hang up figuring Dean was drunk or something and would regret what he said in the morning.

“M’sorry Cas. I just had to tell you,” Dean murmured, just loud enough for Cas to hear before he disconnected the call. 

The screen of the phone still showed call ended when the EMTs rushed in. 

“Time of death, 10:15pm.”

~~~

Sam had his head in his hands, a half empty bottle on the table next to his elbow at around noon the next day. He looked up sharply when the bunker door opened revealing Cas.

“Cas… What are you doing here?” Sam asked quietly.

Cas made his way down the stairs, “I’m… I’m here to talk with Dean. We need to discuss the rather odd call I got from him last night. I told him I was coming….” Cas said but dread flooded through him as he took in Sam’s state then ran over some of the things Dean had said to him, “Sam… where is Dean?”

“When did you talk to him last night?”

“At about 10. Sam where is he?” He asked again feeling ill now.

“What did he say? What did he say to you?” Sam asked his voice cracking.

“Where is he Sam?”

Fresh tears filled Sam’s eyes and he looked away taking a deep drink from the bottle, “he’s dead. He died last night at 10:15. You where the last person he spoke to Cas. What did he say?” Sam asked again more bite to the words then he really intended.

The floor felt like it was tilting, Cas’ head spun making him nauseous he braced his hands against the table, “he told me he was sorry. For- for how he had treated me. For sending me away,” Cas tried to move but his knees gave out and he just knelt on the floor tears streaming freely down his face, “he told me he was in love with me Sam. I thought he was drunk and not aware of what he was saying so I told him we would talk later and I hung up on him. I- I thought he was drunk.” he wrapped his arms around himself tightly. His whole body shaking with sobs as he fought to breathe, not knowing how to cope with these emotions and being human all at once. 

Sam softened a little and silently moved to kneel next him and put a comforting hand on his shoulder but didn’t know what other comfort to offer, “he did love you Cas. Everyone could see it even if he wouldn’t admit it to himself. He loved you more deeply then I have ever seen him love someone. I don’t know if that really makes you feel any better about it but… he loved you even though he didn’t think there was any hope of you loving him back.”

Cas kept his arms wrapped tightly around himself as if he was afraid he would simply fall apart if he let go, “That’s… that’s what he died thinking,” his voice cracked as more sobs forced their way out. “Why- why did I say it back? Why didn’t I say it when I had the chance? Why did I have to be so damn stubborn? He died thinking I didn’t love him. He died thinking I didn’t even care anymore. That I hated him because of our fight. Because he asked me to leave. I didn’t- I didn’t say it back. I never even accepted the apology. I just hung up. I hung up and left him to die alone.”

“No Cas you didn’t. The EMTs said that the screen of his phone still said call disconnected when they got there and he was already gone when they got there. You must’ve ended the call just as he passed. I doubt he even heard you hang up. You were with him until the end Cas. There wasn’t anything else you could have done.” Sam said softly seeing that Cas was beginning to spiral out of control from grief.

“I should have said it back. I should’ve known. I should have been able to save him. Not be stuck as a useless human.”

“Cas, stop there was nothing you could have done differently. He didn’t tell you what was happening so you had no way to know that it would be the last time you spoke to him and even as an angel you likely wouldn’t have made it in time to do anything except be the one to find him.”

Cas sniffed trying to slow the flow of tears but couldn’t so he gave in and just continued crying. 

They stayed knelt together on the floor for hours trying to come to terms with their loss.


End file.
